For Now

from Small Love by Eileen Doan

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    A physical CD in a matte printed wallet of "Small Love" by Eileen Doan, designed by Roxanne Coburn
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about

i've spent the last ten years not living in any one place for more than 9 months, and that's given me a lot of incredible experiences and opportunities, but it's also kept me from being able to relax into relationships. i taught myself to love in temporary ways, which was great for that decade, but it's not something i can build a life on.

this song is an ode to those temporary loves that i got to experience. those flash moments of something that could be real if i could just stick around for a bit longer. those unsure moments that you always have to traverse when deciding if someone is going to be there for you or not. those lovely and intense and short and painful loves. the cute moments that gave me a glimpse of something i think i might actually want. this song feels like that love.

lyrics

i want night skies and starry eyes
and looking at you like you're the only other person alive
singing your name in my sleep isn't enough
i wanna dream about you
like you're the one for me
like we won't span a distance of several hundred miles

but for now can't we be awake and dreaming
i'll hold on to you with one hand running through your hair
so for now listen to you talk through the night
staring up at stars on my ceiling loving what's you and i

want you to be my favorite song
hand on my knee like you live here
want your jacket to hang next to mine when we come home
and on our later nights i'll make you coffee my darling
awake just to see your eyes smiling back into mine

so for now can't we be awake and dreaming
i'll hold on to you with one hand running through your hair
so for now listen to you talk through the night
staring up at stars on my ceiling loving what's you and i

cause i laugh when i say to myself that i think that you like me
as if we haven't spent the night holding hands in my bed
cause when i look at you it's so easy and mixed with a giddy feeling
cause i love when you're looking at me the way that you do

so for now even with the choices we made
i'll still hold your hand and be happy and love that you laugh at my jokes
cause for now it all feels so temporary
but i wanna look in your eyes and laugh like it's not over soon

but for now can't we be awake and dreaming
i'll hold on to you with one hand running through your hair
so for now listen to you talk through the night
staring up at stars on my ceiling loving what's you and i

credits

from Small Love, released August 7, 2020
vocals, arrangement, instruments by Eileen Doan *
* violin and viola by Christopher Thomas Pow
* synth by Peter Brucker

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Eileen Doan Chicago, Illinois

Eileen is willing to bet she’s the best damn acoustic-pop-female-singer-songwriter in Chicago. She plays the piano, guitar, and ukelele, and tries her best with electronic pads. Lately, she’s been carving out her sound, writing sad songs that sound happy, and pondering existence as we know it. She has three EPs and is about to release her first full-length album “Small Love” on August 7th 2020 ... more

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