Gently

from Small Love by Eileen Doan

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about

i wrote this song about three years ago during a boiling-water point in my life (you know, how a frog would jump out of boiling water but if you turn the heat up gradually it doesn't realize what's happening). this song is about trying to learn to let go of something that's hurting me. it's about self-sacrifice in selfish ways. it's me crying for mercy in situations that have already torn me down.

the arrangement feels sensational and empowering, which is how i feel when i play this song, and a total opposite to the meaning of the words. i faced those demons and came out on the other side.

lyrics

i will wake before the sun
be there if you choose to run
just so you know
wherever you go
i will too
make mistakes and come up dry
open heart and silent cry
fading out of sight
i could disappear
into the night

as long as you hold me close before you go
as long as you warn me
i will let you go
if you choose to be free and i can't help
that's alright with me
don't be abrupt
rip the bandage off
if no one can see me bleed
am i even hurting
if you don't want to be with me
let me go gently

let the opposite commence
so full of love now full of regrets
no point to say
you're leaving today
and our time is spent
if only i could love you for another night
if only the world would let me treat you right
if we're falling apart i know you must protect your heart

as long as you hold me close before you go
as long as you warn me
i will let you go
if you choose to be free and i can't help
that's alright with me
don't be abrupt
rip the bandage off
if no one can see me bleed
am i even hurting
if you don't want to be with me
let me go gently

as long as you hold me close before you go
as long as you warn me
i will let you go
if you choose to be free and i can't help
that's alright with me
don't be abrupt
rip the bandage off
if no one can see me bleed
am i even hurting
if you don't want to be with me
let me go gently

credits

from Small Love, released August 7, 2020
vocals, arrangement, instruments by Eileen Doan *
* electric guitar by Peter Brucker

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Eileen Doan Chicago, Illinois

Eileen is willing to bet she’s the best damn acoustic-pop-female-singer-songwriter in Chicago. She plays the piano, guitar, and ukelele, and tries her best with electronic pads. Lately, she’s been carving out her sound, writing sad songs that sound happy, and pondering existence as we know it. She has three EPs and is about to release her first full-length album “Small Love” on August 7th 2020 ... more

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