The Idea Of Love

from Small Love by Eileen Doan

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about

i've never been in love and that scares me and makes me think i can't love at all and that can't be true because i feel love so deeply but i've still never been in love with anyone and what if i never can when that's all i want i swear to god that's all i want?!

this song is a stream of consciousness. i asked my friends where they feel in love and i'm like hmm. can't relate. i see a lot of my friends getting into long term relationships and getting engaged and having kids and succeeding in life and i'm like yeah. i'm potatoe.

lyrics

the idea of love is such a wonder to behold
it's a warmth inside your torso or so i'm told
just the thought of love makes me feel so self conscious
and with everyone i know falling in love part of me says that i want this

it's universal they say
it'll happen someday
i don't believe them
cause it hasn't happened yet
and they laugh and say don't fret
you have to want it
shouldn't i have been in love
with all those fishes in the sea
but i've never thrown my net successfully
how to love and be loved back
well i can't imagine that
and i'm wondering if i ever will

all my friends are all in this
getting married having kids
getting phds and looking pretty cute
i always feel i'm on the run
not enough time to get things done
and i'm cynical is it really all that good

feel like a faker singing these love songs
don't know if i've had it and feels like i'm wrong
i don't want to open to the vulnerability
but i know there's only one way to cure my heart so lonely

it's universal they say
it'll happen someday
i don't believe them
cause it hasn't happened yet
and they laugh and say don't fret
you have to want it
shouldn't i have been in love
with all those fishes in the sea
but i've never thrown my net successfully
how to love and be loved back
well i can't imagine that
and i'm wondering if i ever will

credits

from Small Love, released August 7, 2020
vocals, arrangement, instruments by Eileen Doan *
* percussion by Peter Brucker

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Eileen Doan Chicago, Illinois

Eileen is willing to bet she’s the best damn acoustic-pop-female-singer-songwriter in Chicago. She plays the piano, guitar, and ukelele, and tries her best with electronic pads. Lately, she’s been carving out her sound, writing sad songs that sound happy, and pondering existence as we know it. She has three EPs and is about to release her first full-length album “Small Love” on August 7th 2020 ... more

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